child specialist

mediation helps you find shared goals

If you’ve come to a place where separation or divorce seems like the next best step, coming to your parenting and financial agreements through mediation can ease a difficult process. 

Conversations about the dissolution of a relationship are both stressful and painful. We must reimagine our future, which feels uncertain, at the same time that all our relationship triggers are right on the surface. 

While it might be rough to make decisions about divorce together with your ex, it allows both of you more control over those decisions than if two attorneys are handling things for you.  Speaking for yourselves, directly to each other, rather than having attorneys speak to each other in reference to your interests is a more direct process.  Direct dialogueIt can make things a little bit more challenging between you, but it can also clarify things more quickly, and allow the process to be more efficient.

And when the decision-making conversations are facilitated by a mediating mental health professional, it softens the rough edges of conflict, supports you moving away from what hasn’t worked with greater grace, and helps you employ good strategies through what can be a difficult family transition.

a soft launch

We get started by helping you understand the Wisconsin divorce process from a legal and workflow point of view, providing a framework for considering your decisions.  You can ask clarifying questions, together or separately, and think about how the process will work best for your family.  All of this happens with direction and guidance from a professional that can hear your concerns and has experience with what often works best for families going through this process.

the kids

There’s often a period of time when you still share the same house,   continuing to carry out your roles as parents while finding new ways to operate independently from each other. We’ll guide you through practical strategies to ease the challenges of that transition time, and help you envision your next steps.

And then we’ll support you with the next transition: parenting from separate households.  The conversations about “who lives where” and “who parents when” include formalizing your ongoing placement schedule, what happens with vacations and holidays, and any other details or agreements your family wants to make to support your kids’ well-being.

Those conversations are what form the contents of your Parenting Plan, which is one part of your Marital Settlement Agreement, submitted to the court. 

Trained in parenting skills and child development, we are great at keeping your kids’ needs and interests front and center. We know that even when parents are in conflict, they always want the best for their children. 

In some circumstances, it can be beneficial to get direct input from your kids.  We can meet with the kids once or twice to allow them to express their preferences and their concerns.  And we’ll help you take those into account as you are making your decisions

your finances

We’ll initiate discussions about finances, beginning with how you will share your kids’ expenses. We’ll provide you with the information you need to consider your income and property division.  You will work with a mediating attorney to formalize your financial agreements. The mediating attorney will memorialize those decisions, prepare your MSA, including the Parenting Plan, and file it with the court.  

We can refer you to a mediating attorney that will guide you through the financial part of your decision-making, and support you in the legal aspects of this process.

the legal aspects

Mediating attorneys often work together with mental health professionals who support clients on the Parenting Plan part of the divorce agreement. 

Good family law attorneys know that parents benefit from a relationship with a mental health professional who can provide on-going support with co-parenting concerns into the future, even after divorce.

advantages of a combined approach: mental health + legal

Gone are the days when divorce requires the involvement of two attorneys stirring up conflict between their clients, costing both time and money.  

reduce conflict

Working with a team of professionals who facilitate conversations between the divorcing parties is the modern standard for healthier, more effective separations and divorces. Healthier and more effective because the goals are finding common ground, and the well-being of the family. Finding common ground reduces conflict rather than stirring it up. And when the well-being of the family is the priority, everybody wins. 

save money

While most people would pay just about anything to protect their kids, an advantage of working through divorce with a mental health professional on the team is that it is cost-effective. Mental health professionals bill at a lower rate than attorneys. When you are in the process of dividing your income and property, it feels good to make a choice that is as cost-effective as it is supportive.

feel supported

And supportive it is: the mental health professional on the team is an expert in human relationships, and an expert at facilitating conversation. We’re objective, neutral, and knowledgeable about the subject matter, all of which is tremendously important. But more than that, what we do all day long is support people through the difficulties of life.

create a support network for the future

Finally, your mental health professional will be available for future conversations down the road. We’ve gotten to know you in this process, so we have an understanding of who your kids are and what your family needs. If at a future time, after you’ve been parenting in separate households, you have an interpersonal conflict or an impasse about some decision-making, you can always come back for an appointment or two to sort things out through mediation. 

Our hope, of course, is that you are able to work things out on your own. But if you get to a place here and there where you just can’t, we’re here for you. Even if it’s for just an hour, a couple of years later, we’re happy to help you sort out a conflict.  We can also formalize new agreements with a “Memorandum of Understanding” that you may file with the court if you wish.

formalizing necessary changes

Kids change as they grow up, and different needs arise.  Parents, too, go through professional and relational changes.  Families blend. 

Sometimes parenting agreements need tweaking after you’ve been divorced for a while, and you need to get settled into a new way of doing things that is more appropriate to your current situation. 

We can work together to help you negotiate decisions about things such as:

• geographic relocation

• choosing schools or medical care decisions

• making changes to your placement plan

• coordinating routines between two households

• talking through your variable expense reconciliation

• sorting through the dynamics that come with new partners and step-parents

mediation supports moving forward

Divorce is hard, there’s no question about it. And if you’re parenting together, you’ll always share your kids. If there’s only one thing that you agree on, it’s probably that you want to make things as easy as possible for them. We help you move forward from that common ground.

Relationships continue to change, even after divorce. Mediation allows for greater goodwill through those changes by helping people reduce conflict and find common ground. The less conflict you experience in this very difficult life transition, the less you and your kids will have to recover from as you rebuild and move forward.