separation & divorce counseling

divorce rocks anyone’s boat

The statistics remain consistent: About 50% of marriage in the U.S. end in divorce. As we go through divorce, it can be surprising that such a common occurrence can feel so destabilizing.

But rearranging the form of one’s most important relationships is unsettling. The financial and parenting changes that happen as a result of divorce are anxiety-producing and emotionally challenging. Not to mention that the process of divorce is confusing, and there are lots of ways to do it.

At opposite ends of approaches to divorce are: doing divorce yourself (navigating an unfamiliar process during a time of anxiety-producing transition) and hiring two attorneys (which can be a set-up for an adversarial process). Alternative approaches, such as mediation, support families in creating new processes for changing relationships by finding common ground. Minimizing conflict allows individuals to come through one of life’s most stressful experiences with support that allows you to remain more emotionally intact.

alternative divorce strategies produce positive results

Cooperative processes for divorce and co-parenting, such as mediation, successfully reduce conflict and support families with a smoother transition into two households. When individuals can come to the same table to create an agreement in a non-adversarial way, it creates a template for how to move forward collaboratively after your relationship has taken its new form.

As a mental health professional on a mediation or collaborative divorce team, our role is to provide strategies to navigate the many emotional difficulties and anxieties that often come with a divorce process, and to help individuals work through the stuck places that are preventing agreement.

conflict and divorce are not codependent

As difficult as divorce is, we believe that conflict has a greater negative affect than divorce.  If you are able to work through this relationship transition in a way that minimizes conflict, you’ll be more emotionally intact and more prepared to begin the next chapter of your life. 

Mediation and collaborative divorce clients almost always feel proud of the hard work they’ve done to maintain goodwill in relationships while they work towards agreement.  It is possible to feel good about the way you do your divorce.