divorce discernment
clarify values en route to better decisions
the impossible decision
Most of us take our marriage vows seriously: it’s a commitment that we intended to make for a lifetime, and we want to keep our commitments. We’ve joined our lives together with another person we know intimately, having financial and family relationship connections that are difficult to untangle. Much sadness can come with that untangling.
And, life is (hopefully) long. Circumstances change, as do personal goals. Many individuals wonder for years whether they are in a failed relationship they should let go of, or if they simply need to invest more time and work into that relationship to make it healthy and sustainable.
discerning next steps
It’s no secret that “relationships are a lot of work.” But in what way? We receive so little practical guidance or tangible support in this complex and important area of our lives.
When your relationship feels like it’s at the 11th hour, and you want support with decision-making, we can help you find that path. We will find clarity together around whether it’s realistic to move forward in reconciliation and if so, clearly outline a plan for what type of work that would involve.
If divorce is the best option for you, we are able to work together on aligning your intentions for changing the structure of your relationship and forging a new path towards co-parenting (if you have children together).
how we work
We can work with you as an individual in the process of divorce discernment or as a couple. In our first 50-minute session we’ll dive right in and get the lay of the land. In one to five sessions we’ll sort out a plan of action for reconciliation, or provide options for separation.
“It always gets worse before it gets better. But it will get better. Like everything else, and like our past struggles, at some point we win. But before that win, there’s always that loss that spurs us on.””
nuts and bolts
You can come in on your own, or as a couple. We’ll take three to five one-hour sessions to arrive at “stay” or “go” and identify the type of work involved with either decision.
resolve the fork in the road
Our goal by the end of the first stage of your process is to create a practical plan of action for either decision. We will outline a process for reconciliation and rebuilding a marriage that will remain intact, and we can continue our work together in that way. If the marriage is at a point of transition to separation or divorce, we will work together to identify the next best steps in that process.
envision a path forward
For couples who are leaning towards divorce but are not entirely sure of that path, we can engage in a more formal mediation for divorce discernment process. Understanding that you are still uncertain about the outcome, together with a family law attorney, we will begin the process of financial division and a placement plan if you have children together.
no commitment necessary
There’s no need to file for divorce to begin a divorce discernment process. We’ll support you through the difficult decisions that have to be made when couples separate, while allowing room for the possibility that the marriage might remain intact.